The Multiple-Choice Book Review
Amazon.com have added a system of drop-down menus for reviewers to use. This will be very handy for all those people who have read a book and gone to Amazon with the express intention of leaving a review, only to find themselves unable to think of any words.
There’s a summary here along with a useful graphic of the various menus:
I’m pretty sure it could use a few more options. (You know, like how there may be other metrics to judge plot than ‘surprise!’, and how we distinguish that simple topic ‘writing’ in a slightly more nuanced way than okay vs good.) So, all-round helpful person that I am, I’ve come up with a few other drop-down menus Amazon could add, in order to bring us all to a real, close, yet fully multiple-choice understanding of every book ever written. I think this should cover it nicely.
What did this book make you feel?
- Mild to severe discomfort
- Wistful yearning
- Sexual desire for a billionaire
- Seething hatred of one or more characters / the author
Why do you think the author wrote this book?
- To bring joy to humanity
- Couldn’t afford therapy
- Demonic possession
Does this book include krakens?
- No cephalopods, sea monsters or Lovecraftian beasts whatsoever
- Some tentacular activity
- HORROR IN THE DEEP
If this book was an animal what would it be?
- Cute puppy
- Fluffy kitten
- Dragonfly, fragile yet iridescent in its beauty
- Filthy lumbering hog
What is this book worth to you?
- Toenail clippings (discarded)
- 1-3 hours of my time
- Firstborn child
- Later-born but secretly preferred child
How will the author respond to a bad review, in your opinion?
- Unconvincing gratitude
- Social media meltdown (two or more platforms)
What book should the author have written instead?
- Her last one, over and over again, forever
- This one, but with a different hero and maybe a different plot
- One with pictures of cats
- A much shorter one
What is your favourite colour? [This question is compulsory.]
I look forward to seeing these enhancements to the multiple-choice reviewing experience, and welcome further suggestions in the comments.
KJ Charles is
- a freelance editor
- a romance author
- inclined to sarcasm
- going on holiday
I’ll be back in mid April, see you then-ish. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. And feel free to swoon at the cover for A Fashionable Indulgence! (Loveswept, August, since you ask.)