‘If there isn’t any fighting, it’s not a proper story.’ – My four-year-old son. During my romance-editing days, I read an MS that’s stuck with me for years, although not in a good way. The conflict-packed synopsis was much as follows. (I have removed/changed all identifying details, obviously, while reproducing the essence of the problem.) […]
“One must not put a loaded gun on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it.” Anton Chekhov Or, don’t introduce elements that serve no purpose in your story. Purpose doesn’t necessarily mean serving the progress of the plot, or being involved in the dramatic climax. It means that what you put in […]
‘Hi, I have a manuscript I’d like to send you but I see you don’t accept unsolicited submissions. Please call me back to ask me to send it to you.’ – Actual message on my actual voicemail. It is really hard to get your MS read by a publisher. That’s just how it is. Everyone […]
– Mummy, tell me a story. About a princess, and a cat, and a … fridge. – A fridge? – An ANGRY fridge. My kids used to ask me for these all the time. They’d pick three items from whatever drifted across their mind or vision – cows, trees, forks, balls, trains, the colour yellow […]
There is no more sombre enemy of good art than the pram in the hall. – Cyril Connolly. I’ve never read anything by Cyril Connolly (except for his hilarious 007 cross-dressing spoof, ‘Bond Strikes Camp’, which is probably not relevant here), and I’m prepared to bet money that he didn’t take responsibility for childcare, so […]
– This contract is asking for a definition of ‘Editor’, can you supply something? – How about ‘irritable, tea drinking pedant’? – I’ll put that in the boilerplate. What editors do all day has been brilliantly summed up in this handy pie chart from Sarah Fletcher (www.sarahjhfletcher.com and @sjhfletcher). I can’t better that, but it […]
I had a silly Internet conversation. Alex: When you become a world renown writer with like 10 books on the NY Times top selling books list, can you make one TERRIBLE psychology pun in a book, so I know that you love me KJ: If you can give me a good psychology gag appropriate to […]
My brother used to wind people up by adding speech tags in conversation. Me: I was going to the shops – Him: “She announced.” Me: And I saw this bloke – Him: “She revealed.” Me: Will you shut up? Him: “She demanded” – Ow, that really hurt! Me: “He yelped.” Speech tags can be just […]
My name is KJ Charles and I’m a first-time novelist. (The Magpie Lord, Samhain, Sept 13.) In my other life, I’m an experienced commissioning editor. (For the purposes of this blog I’m an anonymous editor, so I can give actual examples without feeling too constrained about authors thinking, ‘Is she talking about me?!’ (Honestly, darling, […]